I feel like I’m standing still, yet I know things in my life are moving. I guess it’s the fact that I’m not working on the things I want to be working on that’s really starting to get to me. My thesis is something I need to start, and I don’t know how to tackle it (or I’m afraid to). But, at least I’ve finally chosen a different field after trying to study the Brexit-Troubles nexus in Northern Ireland.
The next item on my agenda is my driving licence, which I know will be incredibly useful going forward. Yet, it will take up cognitive space and time that I could spend on cybersecurity and IT learning.
Then there’s my work. I have one small client, one important client, and one unreliable client. They aren’t exactly what I want to do, and all require me to learn new skills as I go. But they are not enough to comfortably sustain myself and are not what I want to be doing with my time. Yet, they are the most convenient options at the moment.
On top of this, I’m working on getting into a rhythm and doing more sport. I realise these are long-term projects, and I shouldn’t be too harsh on myself for not being able to achieve what I want just yet. All I really should do is keep at it, and eventually, come summer, I will be able to work on the things I want to be working on, hopefully also making money from them.
Yet, why am I in so much doubt and find it hard to concentrate on my tasks, let alone get out of bed? Is it because I shrink back from adversity? Are other personal issues in my love and family life the main causes of this doubt? I don’t know. For now, I will just keep going. As the saying goes, ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.’
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